Recruitment

Back in May I received an email, improperly routed to my spam folder, which contained my (long-expected) invitation to join the Illuminati. I’ve yet to receive further details, but I figure I’m basically in at this point. It isn’t like they’re going to send me a secret decoder ring in the mail.

Date: Mon, 19 May 2025 14:25:37 +0300

From: The illuminati alexandr@medicine-it.ru

To: Recipients alexandr@medicine-it.ru

Subject: illuminati recruitment.

Greetings, from the illuminati world elite empire, Are you a business Man/woman, politician, musician, student, employee. Do you strive to expand your knowledge to achieve personal growth, Do you want to be rich?, need protection, be powerful and famous. If YES!. Then you can achieve your dreams by being a member of the great illuminati empire, Once you are a member all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish. With this brief summary, If you are interested to become a member of the great illuminati then get back to us for more information about joining the illuminati. kindly reply us back on our direct recruitment email only at: infoilluminati@religious.com Please note, Kindly make sure all your response are send directly to the email stated above.

This is my second favorite recruitment offer. The first being when, in the year of our lord two thousand and eighteen (or was it ‘17), I received a phone call from a (purported) CIA recruiter (allegedly) encouraging me to apply for a role in the (recently renamed) Directorate of Operations.

It is periodic acknowledgement like this that leads me to believe I am making the right life choices.